The Monday after the testing I was holding up pretty good.
I did have some cramping that scared me on Monday. I called and mentioned it to my friend who was amazing and had me come in. (Monday December 15th)
She had the Doctor in the office do a scan after us not being able to hear the heart beat via doppler. Which didn't freak me out because she had warned me that we may not hear the heart beat this early.
But we heard it, saw the baby moving, and everything looked just fine when he did the sonogram. I was so relieved and thankful.
I think my heart grew in that very instant. It had been four days and the high risk dr said if we were going to loose the baby, it would likely happen a few days after and all looked good.
Thank GOD.
That helped the waiting a little better. The Doctor told us that we may hear something on Tuesday, which is when he told me to call if I hadn't heard from them......soooo I was counting down the days and hours until 3:00. Each day that passed I felt worse. Your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy and I found that to be more true than ever.
I am so thankful I had Ryan and our friend to talk to me. I had melt downs to both of them, but also surprised myself at how well I put on a happy face for those around me.
On Tuesday December 16th 3:00 came and went. I called like they told me to do and to my utter shear fear they said they didn't have the results. She said she would call the lab and see if they could tell her over the phone.
I lost it. I was hysterical. I waited five days for these results and they didn't know yet! Ryan called, to see if they had gotten anywhere and left a message.
She called back and said we had to wait another day.
I didn't sleep at all the night before waiting, there was no way I would be sleeping tonight waiting again.
That night around 1:00 am I still wasn't sleeping. I had to wake Ryan up because I was so worked up and couldn't be up by myself anymore. I asked him to pray with me.
He put his hands on my stomach and prayed. I don't remember everything he said but I remember for the first time since we had the 12 week visit and this all started happening that I felt complete peace. I actually though to myself while he was praying "wow, I have never in my life heard Ryan pray like this" it was amazing. And I rolled over and went to sleep.
The next day I asked him to pray again while we were waiting to hear and while it was still great to hear him it was nothing like the night before. And I brought up the night before. He had no idea what I was talking about. He knew I had woken him up but didn't remember praying at all. I truly believe with all of my heart that God was speaking through Ryan to calm me down. I knew right then that my prayers were being answered and that no matter the outcome we were going to be okay.
The day of waiting was long. It was hard to think of anything but the phone call. I prayed to her the nurses voice when the call came because the Dr. told us that if it wasn't good results he would call us. So all day when I answered my phone I dreaded hearing a mans voice.
And finally we got the call.
And it was her.
I was so relieved already.
At this point several people would be excited because we were also finding out the sex of the baby. At that point I didn't care I just wanted good news!
And she said that we were all clear of the first five! I started crying.........I was so happy and could breath a little easier. I knew that our road wasn't over yet, because she explained we still had to wait for the other chromosomes but that the first most common we tested negative for.
I was so happy. I couldn't wait to get off the phone and call Ryan. I totally forgot that we could find out what we were having.
Right before we hung up she asked me if I would like to know. I couldn't believe I had forgotten that part!!!!
It was a GIRL!!!!
I would be lying if I said that I was overjoyed....because really I was just overjoyed to get off the phone and call Ryan that it hadn't truly sunk in that we were having a girl. We had always thought we were going to have boys.
When I called Ryan he was so excited that the news came back and so far we were good. I think asked him "well what do you think we are having" and he said "I have said a girl" and I told him "Well you were right" and I was crying. With excitement that even thought we were excited about it being a girl we were excited more for the fact that the start of this scary journey ended with good news.
Now more waiting. And preparing for our house party.
We had decided that if the news wasn't good we would be telling our family and friends before the house warming party. But if this first round came back good we would let them have the excitement of finding out we were pregnant, and having a girl....and the next day go visit everyone and explain what we were going through and the waiting that we still had.
I got busy making plans of picking up pink balloons and focusing on being excited to share this news vs. worrying about the weeks to come.
This baby no matter what was going to be celebrated, even if we hadn't received good news today.
She is a gift.
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