The waiting and the call from the High Risk Doctor

It felt like it took FOREVER to hear from them. I called the next day at 4:00 after not hearing just to hear that the team of Doctors are still reviewing and they would call tomorrow to schedule me for a visit.

The next day I got the call. (December 11th)

It was a woman nurse......I sat down in the office with a pen and a piece of paper. She introduced herself and asked me to explain what I know.

"I know that we are pregnant, that we are 12 weeks and a few days....that the sonogram we had showed a high nucal measurement of 2.9"

she stopped me and said

"Actually a 3.0”

I continued with...

"That this could mean our baby may have down syndrome or another syndrome......and that we need to come to you all for possible further testing and that I would be hearing from you on our next step"

She explained that that is correct, and literally no even a few minutes into our conversation said

"Have you and your husband discussed your plans on what you will be doing if something is wrong with the baby."

Let me pause this story right here. Before I go any further......I do not and will not judge someone for the choices they have made. I know that every persons situation is different. I can only hope that they made the right decision for themselves if ever faced with something like this. I pray that they had piece in the choice that they made. My choice along with my husbands was that no matter what we would keep the baby. I didn't need to call him, I knew that.

I quickly asked her "Why do you know something more than you are sharing?" she said No, that it is a common question they ask and that as the stage of pregnancy we needed to discuss that. And I think explained that we would be keeping the baby no matter the outcome.

She explained that we would come to our appointment......tomorrow. The sooner the better. That at this appointment they would do a sonogram on their machines which show a lot more to remeasure. That we may get lucky and it could be normal and we will be on our way.....but if it isn't the doctor may encourage further testing.

I had my mothers retirement party the same morning as our appointment. I was in charge of doing somethings for it and had plenty of time to get them done because at this point I was not sleeping well.....obviously. 

I was so frustrated.....I wanted to enjoy my moms retirement party. She worked SO HARD for SO LONG......I guess I was good at faking it because she had no idea that anything was wrong. A part of me wanted to tell her so bad. I tell her everything. And I wanted so desperately to call a few friends who I knew would be great listeners, but that the same time I was so THANKFUL that no one knew we were expecting. 

Because if they knew.....the worst worrying feeling would not just be shared by Ryan and myself. And for that I was thankful.