Friday, March 13, 2015

Some things I have learned with all of this.

As weeks have been progressing with the pregnancy I have felt more compelled to tell our story out loud. I knew that eventually I would share this blog but I wanted other moms to know my story. I had lots of questions from friends who did not understand, which I did not mind at all.....just sometimes I did not have the answers. 

I often heard from people who heard it through the grapevine.....

“Oh don’t worry, so and so had the same thing and all came back fine”
When come to find out that so and so only had blood work. No high risk appointments, and no procedures done.


“Well you look like you are not growing like you were with Mayson, did they say thats normal? I am sure all will be fine I am sure all will work out”

Holy moly.......yes all pregnancies grow differently....dont we all know that by now? Some of us carry like we have two in there when there is only one....and sometimes babies are smaller. and I SURE DO hope all is fine.

Basically the reason I am writing this is because the truth is even when someone shares their story we sometimes do not have a filter. Those are things I know myself after going through this will always filter what I am saying. 

What if that mom hasn’t shared anything at all! And you are be bopping along your way after asking so many things that may leave her thinking “If they only knew.”

I may sound harsh with this blog post but that is by no means what I am trying to do. I am just saying that sometimes with situations rather than sharing a story you’ve heard about to avoid awkward silence isn’t always the best thing to do. 

Unless of course they are asking....there were several moms that I wanted to ask questions to if I would have known any that went through what we were going through. I thankfully found one mother....and her son is alive, healthy, and completely fine. I held onto that story for a lot of days and a lot of nights or worrying.

But I also know of other mothers who lost their babies while in the process of waiting. I am so thankful that despite all that is going on all is shaping out to be a healthy pregnancy. A tad stressful but I for the most part have felt great. 

What I have learned with all of this is when I speak to Moms about their growing bumps :) I filter my thoughts and mouth and ask things like.....

“How are you feeling!?”
“You look great!”
“Have you decided on room colors?”
“Any names yet!?”

Some have shared their excitement and some have offered complaints on how they feel and then quickly follow it with apologizing because “It isn’t anything as bad as what you have been through” and I follow up with them saying “We all have our days, and we all have our moments and battles. These are big things to you and don’t need to be compared.”

The last thing I wanted was to be treated differently....heck the last 20 weeks have been different lol. I don’t need anymore of that! I wanted to be able to be a listening ear to these pregnant mommies and try to help when I can....not not be told what they are going through because they heard what we have been going through. 

Normal feelings is what I wanted. And even though we were closer to that everyday it didn’t always feel like that while involving somedays I was fearful of weeks to come and what if something came up. Were these people going to treat our situation not normal if something did come up?

See.....all over the place emotions and thoughts.

All emotions that I knew I wanted to share which and is why I am choosing to keep writing and keep sharing.

No comments :

Post a Comment